Day 54

Sorry I have not been keeping up. Elijah is getting better, slowly but surely. I wish I could say the same for me, I feel that every passing day my nausea and pain get worse and worse. I go for a post op appointment on Monday and I pray that it shows that I didn't cause any problems and have a release. I still have not heard from the neurologist about referring to Jacksonville Mayo Clinic. I am so tired of having what feels a lot like the stomach flu 24/7. I really want to get to the bottom of my condition which is all I wanted to do since I was diagnosed with idiopathic gastroparesis in 2009. I am growing so weary and so sad. I so desperately want to be the wife and mother God created me to be. I see the pain in Clint and the kids eyes and pray and wish that I could make it go away, but for the time being, gastroparesis is holding my family hostage and to me that is the worst part. I could deal with all the horrible effects of gastroparesis if my family got to stay protected from it. I know this has made us all stronger because in total weakness we find the strength of God. Everything in my past, the struggles I went through, I wouldn't change one second because it has made me the woman I am today. It brought me to my love, Clint, and it brought me my amazing precious children. Until recently it also made me into a strong, independent woman. I have to admit at one time I had a boss who turned me into a shell of a person because she was verbally abusive and even listened in on my private conversations in my office through our speaker phone and she had no idea I knew that. It took me a long time to get past that and find the strong person I had become. Before that happened I had an amazing boss that begged me not to take the promotion and it wasn't long before I understood why. I have t forgotten that I owe you the beautiful story of how God brought Clint and I together. I will get to that story but I need to go now.
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy