Healed and fully Surrendered

     I know it has been a while and I apologize. I should really take time every single day to keep you updated. There are so many amazing things God is doing through me and I am so excited to see the visions He has given me over the years come to life. There is still so much for me to do. I think there will always be to keep me from getting complacent. Today I start school and Elijah starts 5th grade, homeschooled. I have a feeling my first grandbaby will be here within the week. Hope is about to leave for college. We have started our business, Enviroclenze, and much work had gone into that but we have a vision for everyone in this area to have the purest drinking water and indoor air quality.
      I am still working diligently on my campaign against violence, which is needed now more than ever. I am beginning to work on my book that God has given me through His miraculous Healing Power! And now is the time to set up my Testimony at all the churches who took the time to pray for me, to let them know God hears their prayers and is the same Miracle Working God of the Bible this very day! As you can see from the little I have written I am going in a million different directions but Thank God I have One Director and He will put everything into place and His timing, Just like He healed me in His timing! There is so much more I want to share with you, but my timing is not God's timing so for now just know He has very big plans and I intend to follow them step by step!
     Know that as you read this I am praying for you! Praying that god will meet you where your needs are! Praying that God will open His Will for you, to you! Praying that God will bless you beyond measure! Please continue to pray for me that God will use me according to His Will!

Who is God?

I believe what I believe because the Southern Baptist Convention told me... No, I believe what I believe because I know God personally. I try to talk to Him every day, throughout the day. I sit and listen to Him. He taught me how to love, how to fast and pray. He taught me through my cookies that Matthew 4:4 says "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." Then through my disease He taught me true hunger, to the point of starvation. Then He taught me to hunger for Him. He showed me a thirst that couldn't be quenched, a thirst complete with dry cracked lips and dry skin. I couldn't tell you how many times I was dehydrated. Then He showed me Living Water that could quench any and all thirst. He showed me such compassion through His creation. Doctors, nurses, friends, family, and even strangers. Then He showed me the cruelty of man, even people who took an oath that were supposed to be there to help me. I want to protect others from that cruelty. Those that cannot protect themselves. He also showed me the #faithofachild. He showed me through my own sweet child what true faith is. Elijah not only gave every prayer and wish that God would heal me, but he also taught all of his friends how important prayer is by asking them all to pray for me. He showed me He is my Jehovah Rapha, My God Who Heals. That to this very day He is the God of miracles and in doing, answered Elijah's and all of his friends prayers! He answered prayers across the world for me. He taught me what true love and devotion is through my amazing husband that He created for me. Clint stood by me through it all with such grace and constantly sang my praises. He put me on a pedestals and adores me to this day. Through Noah, He taught me the first love of a mother and gave me someone else to live for, to never be selfish again. He showed me how He saw me as His child. Noah saved my life so it could truly begin. Now Noah is all grown up, married, and about to have a child of his own. He is a mighty warrior of God. Through Hope, he taught me just that, hope. She was our Hope before she was born, hence her name. From the first time she pointed out her guardian Angels to me, to this very day she inspires me. Elijah still remembers being in Heaven with Jesus, and really remembers being in my tummy. I am so glad I spent the first year of his life mostly holding him, watching him, and loving him, because he didn't get to know the mom I was to Noah and Hope until now. Right now God is teaching me how to be a voice for the voiceless, how to give, how not to give, how to love with Agape, love that asks nothing in return. God is all around us. My Nanny always took us on walks and showed us God in nature. My Granny always showed us God in person. My brother went to be with God too early, and through that God showed us Peace without understanding, sometimes day by day, sometimes hour by hour, and sometimes moment by moment. God is everywhere, just look around, or close your eyes and listen. He wants you to know Him. He created you and this beautiful world you live in. God is Love!

Day 38 after healing!

     Hello everyone, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. I am sorry it has been so long since I have updated my post. Things have been crazy busy. We are getting ready to homeschool for the new year. Hope is about to head off to college. Our business is finally taking wings and will hopefully be a smashing success. I have been so weak, trying hard to get my strength back, but many years of being too sick to do much of anything is not so simple to snap back from. The good news is that each and every day is new proof that I am a living breathing miracle! I am eating new things every day with no problem. I was going to way a while before trying any raw vegetables or leafy greens because from the beginning, that was the first thing to go. Yesterday I ate raw spinach and tomatoes and they were so yummy and didn't give me any problems. I have always been a big time foodie, loved food. But because of my gastroparesis, I couldn't eat anything. After yesterday, nothing's off the table and I am so excited!
      We have a very busy day today of shopping, getting our school room ready, and a birthday party so I suppose I should get to it. I will try to do better to keep everyone up to date and I will post dates and locations on here of when I go share my testimony so everyone who wants to be there can. If you would like me to come and speak just leave me your info and I will contact you ASAP! Thanks so much and I continue to pray for all of you and will work hard to be a voice for those of you too weak to speak up for yourselves! This is Day 38 after my healing!

15 days after healing

     I am doing so good and just loving life! My eating is back to normal. I was able to eat a burger at my uncle Jim's on the 4th and it was probably the best burger I have had. The Fourth of July means a whole lot to many Americans, but to my family, it means so much more. It was the day my Grandad married my Granny and started this whole crazy York clan. Our lives have always been blessed, even through all the illness and other issues because we have always been bathed in prayer. My mom's family is pretty amazing too. I am sure she doesn't want me to say anything about this and I hope she doesn't mind, but when my Nanny's dementia got bad, my aunt Ann took her in, and when she got worse, Ann would care for Nanny saying it is better to have a loving hand than a caring hand. I spent much of my summers growing up at my aunt Ann's with my cousin Teri.She probably knows more about me than I know about myself.  In fact, I was named after her and my dad's sister Ann. She is one very special lady too. I always thought she was the most beautiful person in the world. She has always been so good and so sweet to me. I spent many a night at her house as well. But for my parents, who likely already knew how unique I was, chose Anne, and so I became Betsy Anne.
     It will take a while to get my energy to a normal level. I have been sick and mostly laying down for the last 10 years. The amazing inner strength I gained from my healing needs help with rebuilding my muscles. So I will take it slow, or I will over do it and then rest a while. Either way slow and steady wins the race. I will indeed try and keep up and I hope you will continue to follow me! May God bless you and your family!

Clarification

Let me start by saying I am so blessed and so full of Joy. I said some things on day 4 after healing about several different people. Different instances and situations that saddened me because there are people who will never understand the Love of God. But I should not have let those words ever be posted. My sister, who has taken me into her home and though she lives so very far away has always wanted the best for me feels like everything I wrote was about her. She knows the Love of God intimatly and has personified it to our family. I am healed but being heavily medicated and without sleep is not a good time to post anything. I deeply apologize if I have upset people or hurt anyone. That was never my intentions.

Still Healed, still a long way to go. Day 11 after healing!

     I know God has healed me, and it has changed my life and I hope will change the world. There is a long road ahead of me. Yes I am restored and He has made all things new, but I have a long road to go. My illness was a very long road and came very near to killing me several times. I have to take it step by step, day by day, baby steps and baby bites for brand new parts on a 40yr old body. I am so excited but this is just simply going to take some time. Thank you to all of my supporters and prayer warriors. I still need you to stand with me and know I feel all of your prayers.
     It is very early in the morning and I have not gotten any sleep so I am probably not making much sense so I am going to go for now. Just want to keep the dialogue going so you will know I had an honest to goodness miracle that I knew all along I would. This blog is Countdown to Healing and I remember thinking how great it would be when I could start to count up the days, weeks, months after healing and Praise God it is finally here and I couldn't be happier!

Day 4 after healing

     I am so excited for things to come, but right now I must take baby steps. I am restored, like I have a brand new digestive system. New like a newborn baby, so baby steps are necessary. I don't know how long it will take for my strength to be restored but I am healed. The next step is to go to my doctor, Tuesday, this Tuesday, let him check me out and set up a gastric emptying test. The proof is in the pudding, but I really don't need any more proof. I have been eating and having no trouble holding it down for the first time in a very long time. I cannot wait until the whole world knows what God has done for me, and my family. I have some family members who probably don't care if I lived or died. But the majority of my family including most of my aunts and uncles adore me. My husbands family adores me. They called or texted to check on me almost every day. So did my dearest and closest cousin, Misty. True love shows concern. At the very least, many friends and extended family let me know they were praying for me. I always say praying is not the least you can do, it is the most you can do! I still have to go see my Granny. Just before I went into surgery I called her and asked her to pray over me that when the surgeon removed the line, that God would touch me and heal me. She is the most Godly Woman I know. She is 93 and has such a strong spirit. She is the one that used the word, restored. Just before that I was talking to my Aunt Ann and had her pray over me. She said she and Bubba would continue to pray for me. After talking to Granny, I had the biggest smile on my face and the doctor walked in and asked what I was smiling about. I told him my Granny just prayed over me. That kind of smile, a God smile, just before surgery must have seemed strange to the doctor, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what God was going to do, and my Granny got to live to see my miracle and tell the world about it, even pray over me for it!!
     The night before radiology was going to take out my line. I cried tears of such sorrow, believing how someone so close to me could be so cruel. I mean, at least they could have pretended to say they were praying for me, anything. Instead, they showed their true colors, they don't give one iota about me. They are cruel and selfish to the core. This was not something they could run in and get the glory for so they blatantly ignored me. I have fought so long to try to make them love me, and my daughters heard how ugly they were to me at my Daddy's Memorial. I cried then as I do now, knowing I would have to let them go. I cannot make someone love me and I shouldn't have to. So, after all is done, I will likely never see them again, and so I cried. The next night, the night before the surgeon was to remove my line, I had nothing but tears of joy, knowing what was to come. Sorrow preceded a failed procedure that if one more cut was made, the line would have been lost in me, the surgery much more invasive, and the fear of part of my line lodging in my heart for likely a long time. But, thank God, they had the wisdom to stop. The next night tears of joy preceded a successful surgery and a complete healing, restoring. God gets all of the glory here! Thank you for reading, sticking with me and beliving. Your prayers have kept me going all this time. God will surly bless you! Don't worry, there is so much more to come!

Home, Healed, and forever changed!

     I came home Wednesday after surgery and this may not mean very much to many people, but that first night I had bowel sounds, something everyone has and I haven't had in years. Since I have been slowly eating and have not thrown up once. We prayed that when the surgeon took out my line, which was cracked inside me so it is likely what caused my sepsis, so when the nurse flushed it to send me home it had to pop. It had to come out. It was God's plan all along. When the radiologist tried to take it out it broke and thank God they stopped. The surgeon said if it had been broken anymore it would have been lost and a much more extensive surgery. Anyway, we prayed that as the surgeon took the line out that God would heal, restore my body. He makes all things new, and he made me new. This healing I have cried, begged, and prayed for so very long came in the face of death. As I was laying ignored in the hall writhing in pain; my fever 107.2; my hands, feet and lips blue; peeing on myself and begging for someone to help me I dropped and I could see, hear, and feel the presence of my mom, dad, nanny, Ethan, Stephen, Jerry, Uncle Morris, Uncle Ross, Meemaw, Peepaw, and so many others who loved me but I refused to look or let myself be consumed by their love. Instead, I fought because I knew I have so much left to do. So I came back to pain and screaming. Over the course of an hour, I faded and fought back several times.
     Here we are today and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am healed. God has heald me just like He promised, in His time, in His way. Thank You God, Thank You God. My countdown to healing has met its date. Wednesday, June 15, 2016. I started this blog a while after I got sick, really, really sick. January 20, 2013. My little baby boy believed God for my healing and used every wish and prayer for  me. Now I can be the mom he deserves. No more too sick to help, or him making sure no one wakes me because he knew I needed to rest. Everything changes now. It will take time to regain my strength but I am restored! Praise God! I am healed!

What happened

Now that I am starting to feel better I would really like to know what happened to me. Why did I come so close to death? I remember laying in the St. Francis ER hall. I was screaming as my body contorted and pain shot through me. I felt my body just letting go so many times and I knew if I didn't stop it I would die, so I fought back to the screaming ,contorting, and pain. I didn't want the pain but I knew I had so much to live for. I have a few theories. When i am around too many ants my eyes swell just from them being there. So I had a really stressful weekend. We had the memorial service for my dad Friday evening. Then Saturday we had the memorial for my Nanny. So stress. Saturday Clint and I, Laura and Doug, Micah and Kathy, Sam and Dori, and Jon-Luke met at dads to figure things out. The home was full of stale cigarette smoke and the vents had black mold. We saw a few bees in the house and thought we heard birds in the chimney. As we were leaving we saw tens of thousands of bees coming out of the chimney. But I forgot all about Sunday. Clint and I had gone back to the house. We were in the garage and thank God we went in the back door. My aunt and uncle put traps in the house and we didn't notice until we were almost in the living room that all of those bees were in the living room. We backed out but I can't help but wonder if that second trip to my parent's house did this to me. The infectious disease doctor is stuped. No doctors understand what happened to me , we may never know.

From an ICU bed

Monday I took my daughter to the doctor to get her ready for college orientation. That afternoon I thought I had a seizure Elijah and three of his friends were at the
House but thank God they were in his room. I called Johns mom to come over so I could take my pain medication. I took some medicine and it did no good. The whole time she was there she prayed over me for complete healing and nothing less. When the ambulance got there most of my systems  shut down. My temperature was 107.2. They took me to St Francis where I was left in the hall screaming in pain and losing consciousness off and on. I was there for over an hour when the ambulance driver found a bed at Glenwood ER. I waited all night for a room in ICU. There they found my kidney function where low along with my other systems. My heart enzymes were elevated and because I have a family history of heart disease they wanted to do a heart cath but because my platelets were low they're going to do a chemical stress test. We will see where we go from here. Thank you for all of your prayers and love.

Life is so fragile.

When I was younger my mom looked at me as "Stupid little Betsy" but as she really got to know me she told me what a brilliant, kind, loving, giving person I am. I think some people still see me as stupid little Betsy. They don't bother to include me in the most important aspects of life. It seems like they feel they are the only people with a life, like everything they have going on is so much more important than anything or anyone else. The thing is, we all have a whole lot going on only i have to deal with it through the eyes of my chronic illness. So I do as much as I can as long as I can. I have missed out on some amazing moments in my families lives because of this stupid illness. The illness is stupid, I am not. I assure you, I would not have made a 4.0 going back to school, while pushing through my illness and taking care of all of the important moments. We have had so many milestones. Noah is married to Krystian and they are having their first baby girl. While trying to figure out a grandparent name I was talking ti my Granny and telling her how she was so amazing, so graceful, a solid rock we could all depend on, and she prayed over me and bequeathed the name Granny to me. I am so honored. Noah had his first scientific publication, with his name first as an undergrad, unheard of! He won 2nd place at the symposium. He has been working in the lab since he has been in college and this past year got paid for it. This summer he has a paid internship that he only has to go to 2 days a week and will earn alot of money and all of the projects he is working on get accretided to him. Hope just graduated validictorian plans to go into biology then into genetics. After only three months at Eskamoes, before her first evaluation, she was promoted to manager. generally they don't even consider that until you have been therre a year. She is going to relocate to the store close to school and go in as a manager. Elijah at 10 has figured out how to program computers, has a YouTube channel and is dedicated to making 2 videos a day so he can start to make money off of that. My husband doesn't get enough credit because everyttime someone tells us how brilliant our children are he says, "It's Thanks to their momma." He is so brilliant, amazing, caring, giving-even to his own detriment, loving, and I could go on and on. He has started his business Enviroclenze which is whole home or office water purification, and air a clean as a surgery room. So, yes, our life is hectic too. This weekend we are having a memorial service for my dad Friday and my grandmother Saturday but my stupid disease is really flaring up and I cannot control the pain no matter what. But that doesn't give anyone the right to push me aside and flat out ignore me or worse be so ugly to me. I just wish the rest of my family could be as close knit as Clint and I and our children are. Please pray I make it through this weekend becaues I have no choice.

Loss

As many of you know, I lost my father this week after losing my beloved Nanny and before that my mom. I am in mourning, but I know they have all gone Home and are no longer in pain. All welcomed by Jesus and my brother, Ethan. Thank You All for the love, prayers, and support in this difficult time. We have so much joy on the horizon. Clint is getting everything together to start our business, Enviroclenze, offering whole home and office water purification systems and air purification systems with a cutting edge new technology called a "Sneeze Machine." You could be 3 feet from someone who has a terrible flu and if they sneeze, the machine purifies the air instantaneously and runs it through to purify it again. Our kids are doing so great. Brilliant, talented, amazing people who are so kind, loving, and giving and they are already doing things to make a difference in this world. My very first granddaughter is on the way, and she couldn't have asked for better parents. I still know with all my heart and soul that God is going to heal me in His time and His way.

Starving for pain

     Most people don't understand why gastroparesis is such a reprehensible, ugly disease. Many people have had gastric bypass surgery to lose weight. They assume the two are very similar, or at least if you remove the stomach it would relieve the symptoms. Here is the difference. Gastric Bypass surgery is something they do to their bodies, and so their bodies do everything in its power to repair it. Gastroparesis does it to you, and everything you try to combat it, your body fights. Most people with Gastroparesis have a number of issues and if one was to remove the stomach and the small intestines are paralyzed as well, and if they eat, they don't have a stomach to hold the food so the symptoms are much worse and much more dangerous.
     Some people say if eating makes you so sick then stop. Could you? If you hadn't eaten a bite for weeks and are as surrounded by food as we are in America, would you continue to starve or eventually give in? Everybody has different strengths and weaknesses and almost every case of gastroparesis is different. But we all have this in common, we are starving, literally starving to death surround by the best food in the world. So what do we do? We eat. Eating doesn't just cause nausea, your whole body rails against you. Even with all of the medication the nausea is so strong and every inch of your body hurts, it can even bring on Migraines. The pain is so strong. You can go from having a flat belly to looking like you are 8 months pregnant within a few minutes. You throw up everything you ate. Often so hard that you pull muscles, pee on yourself, and my personal favorite, heart palpitations. Even after you throw up the symptoms stay and the pain gets even worse. You ask yourself why you were so stupid to eat. Why did you do this to yourself? But eventually, you start to feel better and the hunger returns. That is the best way I know how to describe gastroparesis.

Mother's Day

     Mother's Day is not quite the same when your mom is gone. But I am extremely blessed and I couldn't ask for a better Mother's Day gift than having all of my babies with me. The only thing better than that is that it will be Krystian's very first mothers day as God creates the teeny, tiny life growing in her. I can't help but remember my first Mother's day when Noah was growing in my tummy. I pray that I will feel well enough to thoroughly enjoy my family as it grows.
     My Granny is such an amazing role model for me, for so many "adopted" grandchildren. She has so many grandchildren and great-grandchildren that it is hard to keep up, But our Riley will be her first great-great-grandchild. She has so much inner and even in her 90's outer beauty. I am so honored to have my Granny. She is such a Godly woman, so full of grace and love. While thinking of my grandparent name I said that I could never be Granny because those are some huge shoes to fill. While visiting her, I explained that I was unsure what I wanted to be called. I told her why her name so very special and she prayed over me and bequeathed me the name Granny. I feel so honored and blessed.
     I should try to get some rest so I can thoroughly enjoy  my wonderful, amazing, sweet, playful, loving, wonderfully weird family. I pray you all have a blessed Mother's Day!

Betsy

April Showers Bring Ma...Major Changes

Hello everyone,

I am so sorry I have let my blog lay silent for so long but I cannot stay quiet any longer. God is doing huge things in our lives and I have a feeling my FaceBook and Twitter are going to blow up because of it. First and my most important priority, Hope is Graduating Valedictorian at SHS and if you are reading this and we need to send you an invitation, mostly for the beautiful pictures, I seem to have lost all of my extended family and dear friend's addresses and could really use some help. You can send them privately to my email, thebetsybabe@gmail.com. I am counting on you for helping me please take a minute while you are reading this to stop and do that. I know if I don't do something like that right away I am going to forget. I will also need them for baby showers coming up for my first granddaughter. I know, I can't believe it either, I am going to be a Grandmother! I suppose that means people need to stop calling my daughter my sister, Nah that's okay. God woke me up about an hour ago so full of excitement so I know it's more than graduation coming up. If you want to know more, you're just gonna have to keep up and so am I!

My illness has really been beating me the last several months. I have missed days, even weeks, but I have a feeling very soon that God is finally going to beat my illness once and for all. By the time I started my iron infusions, every week for 8 weeks, my iron level was at complete zero. They don't normally do a bone marrow biopsy when the only red flag is low iron but because most of my other bloodwork was just above or just barely below the bottom of normal range Dr. Gallahager asked if we could do one. That biopsy showed that my iron was at zero, complete zero, which explained why I was sleeping two or three days at a time and having severe muscle cramps and other issues. I don't know how I was functioning at all along with my pain, nausea, vomiting, migraines and all of my other symptoms; bur by the grace of God! Due to my iron being at absolute zero, my bone marrow had small striations or lines of scars, because my bone marrow was working so hard to make my blood without iron. I had no idea what the side effects were  like rapid weight gain and swelling of the face, hands, feet, legs, and arms along with others. Anyway in 8 weeks I blew up like a balloon gaining 30-40 pounds and feeling the stretching of my skin in all of the places I am still swollen.
On top of that, I decided to go back to school online in business. It is not going so good with all of my sleeping and other issues with my illness. Pray that I finish this semester strong, please. I have a huge list of assignments due this week, but Hope is my priority right now.

I pray everyone has a wonderful day and as you pray for me, know I am praying for everyone who reads this that God will meet you where your needs are! I can't wait to see what God is going to do today! Can you!

Long time

I know it has been too long since I have posted on here but I have been to sick to do anything. Just letting you know I am still here and still going to change the world with my mirical

Kim

     I know Kim doesn't want me to place this post and that is exactly why I am posting it. Clint's oldest sister Kim had really been a rock for me the past difficult months. If she sees my house needs to be cleaned she just does it, no point in arguing with her because she is just going to tell me I need to save my energy to enjoy my family. I have been so sick for so long that I cannot remember what it is like to be well. If I am resting, she will come keep Elijah company until I can get up to teach him or until Hope comes home. Clint, Noah, Krystian, Hope and Elijah are my family but we are so tight knit they are my best friends and I have to put Kim in that intercircle of best friends. I know people have issues with her and it's not up to me to say how she is with anyone else. But she is my friend, my confidante, and probably my biggest advocate as far as letting people know what I have and she sees day in and day out how I am feeling and it just makes her heart smile to know when I am having a good day.
     All of the sudden as in yesterday there is not an inch of my body that does not hurt, inside or out. I have no idea what's going on with me but my sweet Clint is trying to get me to sleep as much as I can but everytime I wake up, it feels like I have been thrown off a building time and again,. From my relentless migraine to what feels like bleeding and bruised organs to my skin feeling like fire ants are crawling under my skin. I am taking my nausea and pain meds around the clock and it just feels like I am throwing dust in the wind. Even Kim's Christmas cards contained information about my rare disease. Autonomic Autoimmune Neuropathy or AAN causing my gastroparesis, my gallbladder to stop working, and even when I was a child causing my appendix to have recurring appendicitis until I was 12 and had to have an emergency appendectomy. That is what this wretched disease does, causing my organs to quit one by one, the newest being my small intestines. I still know with all my heart God is going to heal me in His time and His way and I know he is going to use me as a voice for the voiceless, as an advocate for these health issues doctors either overlook, or don't want to deal with. I want to empower the patients, but I also want to set up a program that trains doctors in the  treatment and signs of these rare diseases. I can only hope, you, all my friends, family and aquantices will help spread the news. That young girl that didn't have any body shame but now can't stop herself from throwing up, don't automatically assume it is an eating disorder have a gastric emptying test and if that shows up normal then and only then should you treat it as an eating disorder. Young people don't know why their body does what it does and they need their parents to first see if it is a medical issue or an eating disorder. Eating disorders are very real and can be very harmful, even sometimes leading to gastroparesis but please rule that condition out first.
     I cannot type anymore because my hands even hurt so bad. Please pray this is something my body can get over.