Day 97

Just to show you how gastroparesis works, yesterday was a good day and today I bloated up so big I couldn't twist or bend or barely move. I really thought my stomach was going to burst open. I explained to my family I felt like the little girl on Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory that chewed the whole meal gum. I have to say that didn't help with my pain and soon the migraine followed. One day I feel so alive and the next I wish for the latter. There is no rhyme or reason to how it works and that is why it baffles so many doctors and many doctors don't want to have anything to do with it because it leaves them scratching their heads and most doctors want to be able to help not say there is nothing I can do for you. I am going to try and get some rest and hopefully will be back tomorrow.

Day 96

Today was a much better day. I went to the doctor and he took me off TPN and if it goes well I may be able to get my line out. This evening Elijah after a weeks worth of planning had a surprise party for Hope just because he wanted her to know he knows what a really great big sister she is. I have to tell you I have some amazing children. Noah graduating as valedictorian top of his class. Hope has a class rank of number 1 for her freshman year. Elijah has the brilliance of their two minds wrapped into 1 with his own special flare. I couldn't be more proud of my children. The same goes for my husband, he is so brilliant and so amazing and everything he has and does is for us. He is our rock when we need strength, he is the joy in my heart and soul, he is got such a unique balance of taking care of our family and teaching our kids how to teach themselves, he is the answer to all my prayers. He knows everything about me and loves me all the same. He knows what I want or need before I even do. God must really love me to send me such an amazing man and wonderful children. I know God is going to heal me and He alone will get all the glory, I just have to wait for His perfect timing.

Day 94

It has been another one of those days.  I have noticed every year around this time my cycle of symptoms get worse no matter what I do. I go to the doctor Thursday. I hate losing time, right now as I write I find myself trying to doze off, I am afraid this is going to be another short pose. Please pray that I get the things i need taken care of done; getting the addresses for Noah's invitations so we can get them out before he graduates; getting my insurance to cover Mayo correctly so it doesn't come back to haunt me. I really have to get past this cycle because I simply don't have time for it right now. As for now I am done. Be back soo I hope!

Day 93

More of the same I spent the night and the day sleeping and there is so much to be done. I cannot get my pain and nausea under control and it is really getting old. I got a dozen addresses down and about 80 to go for Noah's graduation. I am not going to write much again because I am so weak but I am still here and ready to get a move on with my life.

Day 92

I have been having some really rough days. I can't seem to get my pain under control. I am supposed to take care of my sons car tomorrow but I just can't do it. I do have to get my self together for tomorrow evening. Noah is having an honors banquet tomorrow evening and I really want to be there. I have been sleeping a lot and now I have to take my medicine which is going to make me sleep more. I am going to go now. Pray I get my strength back and my pain goes away.

Day 90

It is so quiet here tonight. Noah and Hope are both gone to the state literary rally in Baton Rouge. I am so very proud of them but I miss them like crazy. We are one of those odd families that like to do everything together. I know it won't be long and they will be going off to college and getting married and starting their own family, but I really hope we stay close because my family is my whole world. I really hope we can get all of Noah's Graduation announcements in time. I was supposed to get his car taken care of today but by the time I got through to the Office of Motor Vehicles and left on hold and hung up on twice, there was no time for me to go get the extra paper work filled out. I suppose Monday we will try again. It is amazing how little I can seem to get done these days. I used to be able to do so much; take care of my house, my family, my shopping, my life. Now it is a good day if I can get off this couch. I really hope Jacksonville is not just the same walk around another bush that leads me back to the beginning. I am ready for God to shine in all His Glory through this journey.

Day 87

I know it has been a while but I have had some really rough days. I slept all day yesterday all night the night before and all night last night. I do have some very good news though. I finally got an appointment at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida for Monday, July 29th. My insurance company still has Mayo as out of network even though the specialist they sent me to in network told me I have to go to this specific doctor because he is a specialist on Autonomic Neuropathy and the only one that can truly help me. Pray that my insurance will get their act together this time. I also have faith that God will provide the financial resources we need to get there.I am so proud of my children. Noah is graduating at class rank number 1 top of his class and Hope is also class rank number 1 top of her class. We got Noah's graduation invitations in and they turned out amazing. Now I have to get everybody's address, fun stuff there.Elijah had a great first grade homeschooling and the curriculum I have picked for second grade is going to be very hands on and cater to his level of knowledge and creativity. I need to go have talk time with Hope like we do every afternoon so until next time...
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy

Day 82

Sorry I have skipped a couple of days. This has been a long rough week. I have been having trouble keeping my days straight. Micah's wedding was so beautiful. I was so happy to see my brother and his new bride, my sister, brother-in-law, and my sweet nephews, their Mawmaw and cousin, Micah's friends and the rest of my family. I did hate Seth, Amanda, and Brooke could not make it. Since I have been sick, everything is so much more important. I want more than anything to spend more time with my family. I still have to work on getting Mayo approved at the in network level with my insurance and I have no idea how long that would take. I have met so many people who have the same or similar conditions to mine and you have to just keep swimming, just keep swimming, wait my mind just went to Finding Dory, but you know what I mean. We have to just keep on keeping on. Days we can't move we don't push it and days we can we don't overdo it. You have to learn a new balance in life and sometimes it feels like you are not living at all, like life is passing you by. Those are the days I treasure your prayer. I do know that God is in control and that all will be revealed in His Time.
Lots of
Love and Laughter,
Betsy

Day 79

I spent most of today asleep. I am definitely feeling the weekend and all I did. I hope it doesn't keep me down too long. Like I said yesterday there is much to be done this weekend. During the rehearsal dinner even though I hadn't eaten anything I bloated up like I was 6 months pregnant. I think it helped people that really didn't believe I was sick, because I don't look sick, to see a bit of what I go through on a daily basis. When I was asked about my symptoms the best way I could explain it is that it feels like having the stomach flu 24\7. There is more to it but that is as close as I could explain it because someone who doesn't have this has a hard time understanding its symptoms and results. I am glad to be home and even though I slept most of the day I am ready for bed. To top everything else off I have. Migraine coming on so looking at this little screen is not helping. Until next time.
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy

Day 78

We made it home safely from Alabama and had a wonderful time. Thank you Laura for all you did to make it a weekend to remember. Thank you all for the prayers, I am so happy to report that there was not one fatality from that awful accident we saw Friday. Even the truck driver that had the heart attack survived. To me that was nothing less than a miracle. I have to admit I am exhausted from the weekend but seeing my baby brother so happy was worth every bit of it. This week is going to be a busy one to say the least. I have to try to get my insurance to approve Mayo at the in network level, get Noah's housing and invitations taken care of, and get some much needed rest. Thank you all for standing in the gap for me in prayer as we continue this journey and know that my family and I are praying for everyone who reads this blog for Gods will and for true joy, true peace, and true love in your lives.
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy

Day 77

I woke up and had to run my IV meds so I thought I would write because I am pretty sure I won't get another chance today. My baby brother is getting married today. I am so glad to be here with my family. I get to see my nanny which is kind of bitter sweet because her dementia is getting worst. She is the one that named me betsybabe. Yesterday I had to keep introducing myself to her. I know it is hard on my kids too. They want to remember the Nanny they knew growing up. We arrived in Cullman just in time to witness every bit of a horrific 7 car pile up. The driver of the 18 wheeler had a heart attack and the people at the red light had no idea what happened. He never put on the brakes and just plowed through and mangled cars, trucks, and SUVs. Please pray for these people. I have no idea who they are but they and their families need all the prayers they can get. Also pray for Elijah he saw the whole thing and said it was going to give him nightmares. Also please pray for Micah and Kathy as they embark on their new marriage. I should try to get some rest and pray I make it through the day with no incidences.
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy

Day 76

We are on the road to Cullman Alabama to see my baby brother get married. I am so excited and really hope I can stay well enough long enough to enjoy the weekend. Hopefully I won't be paying for it the rest of the week. I think typing and riding are not the best combination for someone who fight nausea all the time so of you don't hear from me this weekend I will tell you all about it when I get home.
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy

Day 74

I apologize for not writing in a while but I have not been feeling so great. I still don't feel good but this evening I finally had to make myself get up and pack to send our luggage ahead of us because it wouldn't fit in the car with all 6 of us. I am so excited about Micah's wedding this Saturday. We leave early Friday morning. I miss my family, my sister and brother-in-law and my amazing nephews. I really miss my Micah, he will always hold a very special place in my heart because he went from being my live baby doll to one of my best friends. Noah is so very close to Micah too. He lived here for some time and now he is all grown up and getting married. My medicine to get rid of my nausea and pain is making me sleepy again even though I have been sleeping most of the day or just lying around. I haven't heard back from Mayo yet. Next week I have to make Noah's invitations and get them in the mail. I hope it won't be too hard to get all of the addresses I need. His pictures turned out awesome. I am going to go now because not only am I tired but at the moment losing the battle to my pain. I will try to write more often, even if it is just to say hi and I am hanging in there.
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy