Still Healed, still a long way to go. Day 11 after healing!

     I know God has healed me, and it has changed my life and I hope will change the world. There is a long road ahead of me. Yes I am restored and He has made all things new, but I have a long road to go. My illness was a very long road and came very near to killing me several times. I have to take it step by step, day by day, baby steps and baby bites for brand new parts on a 40yr old body. I am so excited but this is just simply going to take some time. Thank you to all of my supporters and prayer warriors. I still need you to stand with me and know I feel all of your prayers.
     It is very early in the morning and I have not gotten any sleep so I am probably not making much sense so I am going to go for now. Just want to keep the dialogue going so you will know I had an honest to goodness miracle that I knew all along I would. This blog is Countdown to Healing and I remember thinking how great it would be when I could start to count up the days, weeks, months after healing and Praise God it is finally here and I couldn't be happier!

Day 4 after healing

     I am so excited for things to come, but right now I must take baby steps. I am restored, like I have a brand new digestive system. New like a newborn baby, so baby steps are necessary. I don't know how long it will take for my strength to be restored but I am healed. The next step is to go to my doctor, Tuesday, this Tuesday, let him check me out and set up a gastric emptying test. The proof is in the pudding, but I really don't need any more proof. I have been eating and having no trouble holding it down for the first time in a very long time. I cannot wait until the whole world knows what God has done for me, and my family. I have some family members who probably don't care if I lived or died. But the majority of my family including most of my aunts and uncles adore me. My husbands family adores me. They called or texted to check on me almost every day. So did my dearest and closest cousin, Misty. True love shows concern. At the very least, many friends and extended family let me know they were praying for me. I always say praying is not the least you can do, it is the most you can do! I still have to go see my Granny. Just before I went into surgery I called her and asked her to pray over me that when the surgeon removed the line, that God would touch me and heal me. She is the most Godly Woman I know. She is 93 and has such a strong spirit. She is the one that used the word, restored. Just before that I was talking to my Aunt Ann and had her pray over me. She said she and Bubba would continue to pray for me. After talking to Granny, I had the biggest smile on my face and the doctor walked in and asked what I was smiling about. I told him my Granny just prayed over me. That kind of smile, a God smile, just before surgery must have seemed strange to the doctor, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what God was going to do, and my Granny got to live to see my miracle and tell the world about it, even pray over me for it!!
     The night before radiology was going to take out my line. I cried tears of such sorrow, believing how someone so close to me could be so cruel. I mean, at least they could have pretended to say they were praying for me, anything. Instead, they showed their true colors, they don't give one iota about me. They are cruel and selfish to the core. This was not something they could run in and get the glory for so they blatantly ignored me. I have fought so long to try to make them love me, and my daughters heard how ugly they were to me at my Daddy's Memorial. I cried then as I do now, knowing I would have to let them go. I cannot make someone love me and I shouldn't have to. So, after all is done, I will likely never see them again, and so I cried. The next night, the night before the surgeon was to remove my line, I had nothing but tears of joy, knowing what was to come. Sorrow preceded a failed procedure that if one more cut was made, the line would have been lost in me, the surgery much more invasive, and the fear of part of my line lodging in my heart for likely a long time. But, thank God, they had the wisdom to stop. The next night tears of joy preceded a successful surgery and a complete healing, restoring. God gets all of the glory here! Thank you for reading, sticking with me and beliving. Your prayers have kept me going all this time. God will surly bless you! Don't worry, there is so much more to come!

Home, Healed, and forever changed!

     I came home Wednesday after surgery and this may not mean very much to many people, but that first night I had bowel sounds, something everyone has and I haven't had in years. Since I have been slowly eating and have not thrown up once. We prayed that when the surgeon took out my line, which was cracked inside me so it is likely what caused my sepsis, so when the nurse flushed it to send me home it had to pop. It had to come out. It was God's plan all along. When the radiologist tried to take it out it broke and thank God they stopped. The surgeon said if it had been broken anymore it would have been lost and a much more extensive surgery. Anyway, we prayed that as the surgeon took the line out that God would heal, restore my body. He makes all things new, and he made me new. This healing I have cried, begged, and prayed for so very long came in the face of death. As I was laying ignored in the hall writhing in pain; my fever 107.2; my hands, feet and lips blue; peeing on myself and begging for someone to help me I dropped and I could see, hear, and feel the presence of my mom, dad, nanny, Ethan, Stephen, Jerry, Uncle Morris, Uncle Ross, Meemaw, Peepaw, and so many others who loved me but I refused to look or let myself be consumed by their love. Instead, I fought because I knew I have so much left to do. So I came back to pain and screaming. Over the course of an hour, I faded and fought back several times.
     Here we are today and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am healed. God has heald me just like He promised, in His time, in His way. Thank You God, Thank You God. My countdown to healing has met its date. Wednesday, June 15, 2016. I started this blog a while after I got sick, really, really sick. January 20, 2013. My little baby boy believed God for my healing and used every wish and prayer for  me. Now I can be the mom he deserves. No more too sick to help, or him making sure no one wakes me because he knew I needed to rest. Everything changes now. It will take time to regain my strength but I am restored! Praise God! I am healed!

What happened

Now that I am starting to feel better I would really like to know what happened to me. Why did I come so close to death? I remember laying in the St. Francis ER hall. I was screaming as my body contorted and pain shot through me. I felt my body just letting go so many times and I knew if I didn't stop it I would die, so I fought back to the screaming ,contorting, and pain. I didn't want the pain but I knew I had so much to live for. I have a few theories. When i am around too many ants my eyes swell just from them being there. So I had a really stressful weekend. We had the memorial service for my dad Friday evening. Then Saturday we had the memorial for my Nanny. So stress. Saturday Clint and I, Laura and Doug, Micah and Kathy, Sam and Dori, and Jon-Luke met at dads to figure things out. The home was full of stale cigarette smoke and the vents had black mold. We saw a few bees in the house and thought we heard birds in the chimney. As we were leaving we saw tens of thousands of bees coming out of the chimney. But I forgot all about Sunday. Clint and I had gone back to the house. We were in the garage and thank God we went in the back door. My aunt and uncle put traps in the house and we didn't notice until we were almost in the living room that all of those bees were in the living room. We backed out but I can't help but wonder if that second trip to my parent's house did this to me. The infectious disease doctor is stuped. No doctors understand what happened to me , we may never know.

From an ICU bed

Monday I took my daughter to the doctor to get her ready for college orientation. That afternoon I thought I had a seizure Elijah and three of his friends were at the
House but thank God they were in his room. I called Johns mom to come over so I could take my pain medication. I took some medicine and it did no good. The whole time she was there she prayed over me for complete healing and nothing less. When the ambulance got there most of my systems  shut down. My temperature was 107.2. They took me to St Francis where I was left in the hall screaming in pain and losing consciousness off and on. I was there for over an hour when the ambulance driver found a bed at Glenwood ER. I waited all night for a room in ICU. There they found my kidney function where low along with my other systems. My heart enzymes were elevated and because I have a family history of heart disease they wanted to do a heart cath but because my platelets were low they're going to do a chemical stress test. We will see where we go from here. Thank you for all of your prayers and love.

Life is so fragile.

When I was younger my mom looked at me as "Stupid little Betsy" but as she really got to know me she told me what a brilliant, kind, loving, giving person I am. I think some people still see me as stupid little Betsy. They don't bother to include me in the most important aspects of life. It seems like they feel they are the only people with a life, like everything they have going on is so much more important than anything or anyone else. The thing is, we all have a whole lot going on only i have to deal with it through the eyes of my chronic illness. So I do as much as I can as long as I can. I have missed out on some amazing moments in my families lives because of this stupid illness. The illness is stupid, I am not. I assure you, I would not have made a 4.0 going back to school, while pushing through my illness and taking care of all of the important moments. We have had so many milestones. Noah is married to Krystian and they are having their first baby girl. While trying to figure out a grandparent name I was talking ti my Granny and telling her how she was so amazing, so graceful, a solid rock we could all depend on, and she prayed over me and bequeathed the name Granny to me. I am so honored. Noah had his first scientific publication, with his name first as an undergrad, unheard of! He won 2nd place at the symposium. He has been working in the lab since he has been in college and this past year got paid for it. This summer he has a paid internship that he only has to go to 2 days a week and will earn alot of money and all of the projects he is working on get accretided to him. Hope just graduated validictorian plans to go into biology then into genetics. After only three months at Eskamoes, before her first evaluation, she was promoted to manager. generally they don't even consider that until you have been therre a year. She is going to relocate to the store close to school and go in as a manager. Elijah at 10 has figured out how to program computers, has a YouTube channel and is dedicated to making 2 videos a day so he can start to make money off of that. My husband doesn't get enough credit because everyttime someone tells us how brilliant our children are he says, "It's Thanks to their momma." He is so brilliant, amazing, caring, giving-even to his own detriment, loving, and I could go on and on. He has started his business Enviroclenze which is whole home or office water purification, and air a clean as a surgery room. So, yes, our life is hectic too. This weekend we are having a memorial service for my dad Friday and my grandmother Saturday but my stupid disease is really flaring up and I cannot control the pain no matter what. But that doesn't give anyone the right to push me aside and flat out ignore me or worse be so ugly to me. I just wish the rest of my family could be as close knit as Clint and I and our children are. Please pray I make it through this weekend becaues I have no choice.