Day 50

Sorry about the not so great post and going days when I haven't posted. I have been in so much pain and I am worried I may have pulled some stitches loose this evening. I really hope I didn't do any damage. I am afraid this is going to be another short entry. I also have to take care of my sweet Elijah, his little cold has turned into a fever, unable to hold anything down and a nasty croupy cough. It is never a good time for me to be sick but I am going through a really difficult spell and that makes it hard for me to take care of my Elijah as well as I should. When Hope was little and always got so sick we would sleep sitting in a chair just so she could breathe. I had to do that with Elijah when he was really young and I should be able to take care of my babies now. I remembered once before I reached a point where I knew I could not put down any more food because no delicious morsel was worth my life. Somewhere along the way I started eating again, sure nothing stays down but I ate anyway. Today was one of those days that reminded me why I cannot put anymore food in my mouth. No way is food worth my life which is crazy because we need food to survive and everywhere we go food is everywhere, but as of today I resolve not to put any food in my mouth until God allows it. I just really hope I did not do any damage today from my surgery that could result in more surgery. I have to gather the strength to take care of my Elijah and take care of college stuff that should have been done the first of this month as well as other business. Time to sleep some more because a week worth of sleeping day and night somehow wasn't enough. So I bid you adieu.
Lots of Love
And Laughter,
Betsy