Day 21

It is a really bad day. My pain and nausea are fighting to see which can stand out the most. I have thrown everything in my arsenal of medications at it and if this doesn't let up my only recourse will be the hospital, but the sad thing is this hospital won't do anything to help me. It would be a total waste of time and energy. I couldn't even go with my family to the store. I am so sick of being sick and I am afraid that nothing I do will ever help and I want my life back. Sorry to be in such a depressed mood but I want true. In our family the main thing we do not tolerate is lying, so there it is. Don't get me wrong, I do have faith, and I do know God will not give us anything beyond what we can bear, but this just feels so unbearable at this point. Thank you to those of you that pray for our family and thank you so much to those of you who donated to the medical fund. We still have a long way to go on that one and could use all the help you can give. Please don't just pray for me because the hardest part of all of this is watching my family fall apart around me. They need your prayers so much more than I do. I have to go for now and I hope I will be better soon. I feel like by writing this I am somehow letting people down, but I just had to get that off my chest.