My Reason

My sweet Elijah has used every wish, every prayer, every day to ask for my complete healing. I knew in 2008 because God told me when I first started getting really sick that things were going to get much worse but He would heal me only when His timing is right and He receives the glory for my healing. For those of you that do not know, I have Idiopathic Gastroparesis caused by a genetic condition known as Autonomic Dysfunction. I am currently on IV nutrition through a central line and on several medications. I had a gastric pacer implanted in 2010 to alleviate some of my symptoms and it worked well for 6 months but my nerves quit responding and I finally had it removed this January. In other words it did get much worse. I start this blog now because I know God will not let my baby's faith die.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Day 237

Food is my greatest nemesis. We are supposed to have to eat to live but it is literally killing me. Every day I wake up and say I will not eat today. But it may be a few hours or most of the day but I finally get so hungry that I put food down my throat knowing that not only is it going to come back up, but first it is going to cause me to be doubled over in pain and start a migraine. Most of the time it does so much more too. So at that point I stick to my resolve until I start feeling better, then I smell something or see something that looks delicious or I just decide I am going to eat and the vicious cycle goes on. I have been off TPN for 6 months and it put 50 pounds on me and 6 months later it is still here. I can only assume my body is in starvation mode because I know I have muscle weakness due to malnutrition. I was so excited about going to the doctor tomorrow and now I am in so much pain and so weak that I cannot drive myself. I have to take my meds now and pray they will at least lessen my symptoms. 
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