Day 213

I am quickly growing weary of the constant pain and hunger. I spend most of my nights awake my mind is racing but I have no energy to get up and do anything. Just today I finally got some sleep after several days of very little but I slept until three this afternoon. By the time I was awake it was too late to call insurance, doctors, businesses, too late to accomplish much of anything. I have an amazing second grade curriculum for Elijah and it will be easy to implement as soon as I can find the time, energy, and will to get it set up. We plan to start after Labor Day but if all goes well we can start sooner. I know Elijah is so excited to get started. I still have to do back to school shopping and at this point it is going to be a nightmare going to the stores with all the other parents who either put it off until the last minute or waited until their children came home with a specific list. Either way I don't want to do it. I can probably get stuff online or go at 6 am but most stores do not open until 9 or 10. I already missed the first mandatory parents band meeting for Hope's Color Guard. I used to be the room mother, the first one there and would do whatever needed to be done. i used to be so much more than I am right now. That is the worst part for Clint, the kids, and me; if I were more lazy, if I never did so many things at one time, never cooked meals the whole neighborhood wanted to eat, never immersed myself in every aspect of my family's life; then this wouldn't be so bad. God gifted me wit so many different abilities and my body has thrown most of them away. But this is not the purpose of this blog, and I have to keep my eye on the ball.
So right now I am going to tell you some things I am immensely thankful for. My God is so good, if you have ever met Him, you know this. My family is so full of love and compassion, not just for each other, but for everyone. I am not stuck in a hospital bed, even though I may not always be able to sleep in my bed, I have been blessed with a very comfortable sofa at the center of my home so I can always be with my family. I am extremely thankful for a primary doctor who knew very little about my condition but made it a point to learn and do whatever it takes to help me. I am thankful for every breath I take, every moment with my family and sometimes even friends, prayers that if I close my eyes I can feel being poured over me like a warm blanket.
I will try not to use this as a soap box or a pity party because that is the last thing in the world I want. What I do want to accomplish is to; share the power of God's healing hand; uplift someone in need, maybe even at the end of their rope; nothing more and nothing less than God's will; if I can make a difference in just one persons life, that is what I want this blog to be for. I know people read this, but I get so very few comments and I really could use some feedback, good or bad, as long as it is in truth and love. I hope to hear from you soon!