Time for spiritual healing

I haven't written anything in quite a while but I would love to start back. I want to share what God shares with me. He did not heal me just for me. One thing about living through a long very painful and unimaginable illness is the toll it takes on your body mind and soul. After such an amazing miracle you are on a spiritual high like no other. The thing is, after that much in life seems so low. I was so excited to be made new. I still want to shout it from the roof tops! But my body was so weak. After years of severe pain nausea and weakness, after spending most of my time laying on the couch, I was still very weak. I went from being on complete IV nutrition and many very strong medications to no longer needing them. It took some time to take myself off of all the medication. But I was so happy to no longer need it. Then I began to get very angry and frustrated with myself because I was still so weak. I didn't take time to realize that I had been dormant for so long that it would take time to regain my strength. I am still working on that but I am doing much better. I miss being so strong and active. My sweet Elijah never got to know me as the mommy Noah and Hope had. The mom that played video games with them, that was able to show the wonders of this world. The mom that did many fun projects with them, like cooking, planning parties, growing a square foot garden, swimming, just living in general. Thank goodness Clint is such a great daddy! Noah and Hope took up a whole lot of slack having adventures with and planning amazing parties for Elijah. Now he really gets to know me, the real me. I hope an even better me because of everything! I get a chance to be the wife Clint so richly deserves! I will strive everyday to be the wife, mother, sister, friend, and now grandmother God has created me to be!