Shattered

I am completely and utterly shattered. I cannot sleep and I cannot stop crying. I think the thing that hurts me worse than anything is knowing I hurt someone deeply. For a little while I just need to be shattered and mourn. I need to let all of the pain in and learn everything I can from it. You see, I know a truth about what being shattered really means. The mosaic God will make out of the tiny fragments will be so much more beautiful then the original could have ever been. Not only more beautiful but also so much stronger because it will be woven together with the gold of God's love and grace. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you have to shatter something or someone or most especially yourself to get the full spectrum of beauty and strength it has to offer. What I am saying is when shattering happens, it's okay to be sad. It's okay to let the full scope of it overtake you for a short time. As long as you know it is not the end of the story. Let God pick up those pieces one by one and weave them together so elegantly with the pure gold of His love and grace. Let Him make you more beautiful and stronger than anyone could have ever envisioned! It takes time, but it is worth every gut wrenching agony every step along the way. I pray often for wisdom, and when God shares a bit with me I want to share it with the world. I am writing this blog because I want to share with the world what He has done for me. How He healed me of such an ugly, incurable disease. I started this blog long before He healed me because I knew He would. Guess what? He did! That doesn't mean my life will be all sunshine and roses. I knew that from the beginning. I just want to make sure that every pain in my life is not a wasted opportunity. I have often said when you have pain in your life you have a choice. You can either let it make you better or it will make you bitter. I have seen firsthand the cost of bitterness. It causes people in pain to hurt others which can lead to a vicious cycle. So feel your pain, then choose to let it make you better. I promise you will be better than you could have ever imagined!