Day 267

I am so proud of my wonderful husband and I can't quit bragging on my amazing children. Hope's birthday is Wednesday and she deserves the world. She told me for the longest time she thought she made me sick because she cooked blt's and that was the first time she heard me get so sick. That breaks my heart because she has been such a rock through all of this and she takes so much on herself. She is going to be an amazing mother and wife along with whatever she concours in this life. She has had so much practice and it was great when we were making cookies and brownies and candy together. Even when she was my right hand at my pampered chef parties it was all fun and we both loved those times, but now she is gone most days until 6 between her practice and tutoring then at home she is pulled in so many directions that it is overwhelming. Not so overwhelming that she doesn't make straight A's, but more than she should ever have to deal with. Thank God I have an angel here who,though she is struggling with her own demons, gives her time to do things that no one else seems to get done. You know who you are and what a blessing! 

For some strange reason my meds are doing nothing more than keeping me out of the hospital right now. They barely keep my everyday pain and nausea at bay, but for the past month every bite of food or sip of drink I put in my mouth causes a violent reaction of pain, nausea, and other violent issues that no matter what I take or what I do, once I have put something in my mouth is completely unavoidable. You would think I would stop putting stuff in my mouth and I did today, but when I wanted to eat but didn't I bloated up like I was 8 month pregnant. I have no idea what is going on with my body. In 2011 when I thought all I needed was to let my stomach rest for a few days with IV nausea meds around the clock,better known as the ZAP method, my body took a left turn and IV nutrition began. They put me on a pain patch and for the first time in years I was pain free. Now it feels like my body is taking another hard left and it is throwing me for a curve. I don't even have a local gastroenterologist so I am at a total loss for what to do. Something's got to give, other than my body that is. Just being totally honest here, sorry if it is a drag. I feel like all I do is complain and I don't want to be that person. Jeez, I am even complaining about complaining, think I better quit while I am behind.