Shattered

I am completely and utterly shattered. I cannot sleep and I cannot stop crying. I think the thing that hurts me worse than anything is knowing I hurt someone deeply. For a little while I just need to be shattered and mourn. I need to let all of the pain in and learn everything I can from it. You see, I know a truth about what being shattered really means. The mosaic God will make out of the tiny fragments will be so much more beautiful then the original could have ever been. Not only more beautiful but also so much stronger because it will be woven together with the gold of God's love and grace. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you have to shatter something or someone or most especially yourself to get the full spectrum of beauty and strength it has to offer. What I am saying is when shattering happens, it's okay to be sad. It's okay to let the full scope of it overtake you for a short time. As long as you know it is not the end of the story. Let God pick up those pieces one by one and weave them together so elegantly with the pure gold of His love and grace. Let Him make you more beautiful and stronger than anyone could have ever envisioned! It takes time, but it is worth every gut wrenching agony every step along the way. I pray often for wisdom, and when God shares a bit with me I want to share it with the world. I am writing this blog because I want to share with the world what He has done for me. How He healed me of such an ugly, incurable disease. I started this blog long before He healed me because I knew He would. Guess what? He did! That doesn't mean my life will be all sunshine and roses. I knew that from the beginning. I just want to make sure that every pain in my life is not a wasted opportunity. I have often said when you have pain in your life you have a choice. You can either let it make you better or it will make you bitter. I have seen firsthand the cost of bitterness. It causes people in pain to hurt others which can lead to a vicious cycle. So feel your pain, then choose to let it make you better. I promise you will be better than you could have ever imagined!

Set free

I want nothing more than to not only keep away from all evil but also to keep away from the appearance of all evil. I relized I have made many mistakes. And my actions and words have been twisted. If I have hurt or offended anyone with my words or actions, I am so sorry. I can only try every day to do better. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. We are bent toward our sinful nature. Belief and faith doesn't make us perfect, in fact it helps us see our shortcomings. There are times when people think we think we are better than them in some way and there are times when we let ourselves believe we are somehow better without admitting it to ourselves. I can tell you I know I am not better than anyone. What I am is blessed. I am truly blessed! If I can somehow obtain God's favor to be healed then I am here to say anyone can. I think back on all who were healed by Jesus. They all have one thing in common. They went to Him. All you have to do is go to God believing that He can and He will!

Weekend

I have to admit I am having a tough time getting over this surgery, but it is what it is. I am so excited because my baby girl is coming home this weekend. I miss her like crazy! I miss my Noah, Krystian, and Riley girl too! So far we have been able to see them every weekend and I just cannot get enough of my family! Clint will be off next week for Spring Break so I am super excited about that. Even though there is much to be done around here, and so much to be done on our business, I am excited to spend every moment with him! I really don't like going one or two weeks without seeing Hope. I know she is not very far away and I talk to her every day but we are just one weird family who loves nothing more than to be together! I wouldn't have it any other way! I don't know if I will post next week but I will try! There are some exciting posts coming up because I am ready to share what God has done through me starting with the Churches who prayed for me. If you would like me to come share my testimony let me know on here and I would be happy to share! I know God healed me, not just for me, but for the world to see His Amazing Grace! Have a wonderful weekend! I will be praying for you all!

Lots of Love
And Laughter,

Betsy

Spring

This is my favorite time of the year. All things are being made new and since my recent miraculous healing, I have been made new as well! I want to make up for all the time I was stuck on the couch lost in time and pain! I remember as a child looking at God's creation with wonder. As I grew the beauty and wonder grew for me because I gained a deeper understanding of His maticiously creation. As you look at all of the beauty around you, enjoy the big picture but also take the time to take in all of the little things that go together to make that beauty. I would have never thought all the pain and suffering I went through would make something so beautiful, but a beautiful story it is! As you go through tough times try to remember it is not always about you and even if it is beauty and wonder can come from it. My motto, though it has been tough to live by has always been to celebrate life, every moment, because every moment is a Gift from God! I know I have a whole lot of time to make up for so I want to squeeze every ounce out of life. I pray that your desire will be the same without having to lose so much.