Getting back on track

I don't always write in here because sometimes I feel like I have nothing important to say. But I suppose my posts don't always have to be profound because truly my own words are never profound. Only the words God gives me ever really mean anything. When I was sick, I neglected basically everything. I was stuck in survival mode. I didn't really live. When my daughter was born we prayed that she would be so full of life that she just couldn't bottle it up and that describes her to a T. Before I got sick we lived full lives. Sure we had problems, but we really lived. There were still many times we were stuck in survival mode. Either because of financial issues, or some other crisis but it was never as bad as when I was sick. The thing is, when the big things in life are neglected, the little things are as well. I thank God I have such  an amazing husband who made sure to make us all smile and laugh and cherish each other even when life was at its worst. When we moved back here, he built me a beautiful master bedroom. Our sanctuary. Your bedroom should be your sanctuary, but more often than not it becomes a catch all. Ours did and the nicest room in our meager home became a heap of a mess. After I got better, I was still so very weak. I continued to neglect things like our room. I am so happy to say now that I am finally getting my energy back and my zeal for life that even though it has taken a while and alot of work, I am finally getting my sanctuary back! I feel like I am finally getting my life back and I have so much time to make up for. We cannot change mistakes we have made in the past,  only try to do better each and every day! I hope you too will live your life to the fullest. Not worrying about what you could have done differently, but what you can do to thrive today. Celebrate life, every moment, because every moment is a Gift from God!

Great News!

Sorry I have not written in a few days. But I do have great news! I am finally ready and have the opportunity to share my story for the first time in public. I will be at St. Andrews United Methodist Church in Sterlington on Sunday April 30th! I am so excited and I would love the opportunity to share my amazing story of how God healed me form an incurable ugly disease with your church or group! It has been 10 months since my miracle healing and I am happy to say I have finally gotten my strength back and I am getting better every day! I have another exciting surprise to share with you very soon, but it is not quite time yet! I just realized I am talking in all exclamation points, sorry but I cannot take them out. I am too excited about what God is doing in my life! I am so excited, I cannot think of what else to write so I suppose I will write again later.

A good question.

My Granny asked me a very good question. She asked why I thought it took so long to get my healing. She went on to ask if it took me that long to have enough faith to be healed. I told her I had complete faith all along that God would heal me. But the answer is so simple. God's timing is perfect. He new when He would heal me and everything I would go through to that point. He knew what I would go through afterwards. Most of all He knew things I will never know or understand. Isaiah 55:9 says, " For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." I do know this, His timing will be used to change lives. If you need a mirical in your life, I am here to tell you that you can have it. Matthew 15:30 says, "A vast crowd brought to Him people who were lame, blind, crippled, those who couldn't speak, and many others. They laid them before Jesus and He healed them all." He healed everyone who came to Him. It was not just for select people and that remains true today. There is only one thing you have to do. It is also the only thing God requires of us for salvation. So that is very interesting how Jesus often tied the two together. You simply have to believe, to have faith. Jesus says in Matthew 17:20 " I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." So I understand why Granny asked if it took that long for me to have enough faith. Faith is the key to your mirical. Sometimes God has a plan and your mirical is delayed. But I promise just as Jesus healed all who came to Him, He will heal you. Coming to Him is an act of faith and that is all you need!

Deeper Understanding

I just want to let everyone know I am much better. Healing can come quickly when you have true joy and true peace in your life! I have been able to give complete and true forgiveness because after Jesus gave His life on the cross to pay for my sins what right do I have to hold anything against anyone? Bishop Sandy Miller said, " No blessing goes uncontested." That is true in the bible as well. Psalms 41:6 "They visit me as if they were my friends, but all the while they gather gossip, and when they leave, they spread it everywhere." For those of you that have been given misinformation about me or simply do not understand the disease I had. I had a very real, very ugly, incurable disease that would have led to a multivisceral transplant if God had not miraculously healed me! I was a part of 2 research studies that I had to follow certain guidelines including no medication to alter the tests. In both of those studies I was deemed the worst case involving patients from all over the world. Even though I was the worst case, several people in the study died. I got to know a few of them. I followed one young girl from Florida who got married and passed less than a year later. When the doctor who diagnosed me told me there was nothing he could do for me I thought he was being cruel and unprofessional. I thought he simply did not want to deal with this ugly disease, and he did not. But he was simply being honest, there was really nothing anyone could do. I should know, I went to the top specialist in the U.S. Most people still do not understand the pain associated with this disease so I will try my best to explain it. When an organ fails to function or does not function properly it causes great pain. If you have ever had a stomach virus and been doubled over in pain from it, multiply that pain times 3 and you will come close. It is a combination of pain from the immense pressure of gas building up and never being able to pass gas, a feeling like someone is taking your insides and squeezing and twisting them while simultaneously stabbing you multiple times, and because mine was neurological a burning from neuropathy or my nerves dying. Sometimes at the beginning it would come and go in an undetermined cycle. Sometimes it would last for days, others weeks, but as my disease progressed it never went away. Still I would take no pain medication for years. I was once refused IV fluids by a doctor. IV FLUID! The very next day I ended up in the hospital for a week. Sometimes I would get a migraine in my stomach. If you have ever had a migraine you know they are no joke so just imagine that centered in your core. There was also the pain from vomiting so severely that I pulled muscles in my back and chest.  Once I could no longer take the constant pain, I did go to pain management. Where they monitor you and drug test you every month to be sure you are not abusing anything. Even then I did not take all of the medication prescribed. I still have a years wort of medication. It did help me to function somewhat and I am so grateful for the relief it provided. I think the reason some people had a hard time believing how serious my illness was, was because I was faking something. I pretended to be okay or as okay as I could. I would sometimes eat at events or go to eat with people because when I would meet people and not eat it would make them feel very uncomfortable. So I would eat and then privately go throw up. But every time I ate or even pretended to be okay, I would pay for it drastically. For one day I would sometimes be down for a week or two, but I assumed it was worth it and for most people it was. When people would say, "But you don't look sick." They had no idea how painful that was, even if they were being nice. There are many diseases where people don't look sick, but they are in some of the worse pain imaginable. The pain wasn't the only issue. I was literally starving to death. Even if I ate, I would either throw it up or not digest it. I never knew what it was like to be hungry before I got sick. I would eat because it was time to eat or because something looked or smelled good. I would forget to eat because I was not hungry. When I was sick I was hungry all of the time but I was also terrified to eat because of the repercussions I would face. God got me through all of that and more. I did not realize when I was making and selling "Heaven's To Betsy's Gourmet Cookies" on which every cookie or package of cookie dough, the verse God gave me would be for me. Matthew 4:4 "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God." He sustained me when "bread" could not. I hope this helps you understand a bit better what I went through and in understanding, I hope it helps you see that God can bring you through whatever you are going through.