Day 427

Here I am at almost 4am awake and alone with my thoughts and my pain and other lovely symptoms. Even though I am awake I am so weak that I have to hold on to the wall just to make it down the hall to the bathroom. Sometimes I will go 2 or 3 days with little or no sleep, other times I will sleep for that long only waking up a few hours in between. I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall just trying to find a doctor that will understand and care about my case. Someone that can help me. I know God has a plan, I just wish He would clue me in even just a little bit. This I do know, I am one more day closer to my healing than I was yesterday. It is so humbling and awesome to know that the God that created everything, every universe, knows me and cares for me... Less than a speck of dust in the majesty of it all and He has a plan for me. Healing is only a small part of that plan. I can see a glimpse, fragments of a vision and I know with every fiber of my being that I am His vessel and He is going to do mighty works through my family.

I really hope I am not just writing these words for my own benefit but that every post I make helps someone in some small way. I want more than anything in this world to make a difference, to keep at least some people from pain or give them some hope in their current situation. I began writing this journey because I know the faith of my baby boy does not fall on deaf ears. I can't wait to change the title of my posts from counting down the days until I am healed to counting up the days since I have been healed and share all the amazing things God is doing through us. Stick around if you want to be truly amazed!