One smart cookie

I gotta say I have been one smart cookie. I say that with total sarcasm. My man and baby have the flu so I am on Tamiflu but I failed to get my pain meds because they are on back order and I failed to call around to find it because I felt so bad. I know exactly the reason I should have. Then I realize I have one bottle of Zofran and 3 doses of Phenergan. This is going to be one heck of a weekend and I really hope I don't have to go to the ER. Could use the prayer and better sense. 

Snow day

The weather has been crazy here in Louisiana freezing rain and sleet to huge snowflakes but by Sunday it is supposed to be 70 and raining. Clint and Elijah are so sick with bronchitis, Hope is going to the dr tomorrow because of hip pain. 

I seem to be in a holding pattern with constant nausea and Migraine and I still throw up every single day. I try not to talk too much about how I feel because truly no one wants to hear all about it. When friends or family members get so sick with a stomach virus that they can't even think straight I am tempted to say I know just how they feel 24/7 but I do not because again, who really wants to hear that? I have learned to mask my pain and nausea to an extent but that doesn't mean it's not there. People tell me I look great or I don't look sick and I have no idea what to say to them. I can not wait until the day when God heals me and until then I will keep my head up and wait for The Lord. 

I long to be a voice for all those who are sick and the doctors either don't believe them or simply cannot properly diagnose them. It is so hard when you are fighting for your life and you have to fight for every ounce of care. I have been there and it is exhausting but if I didn't fight I would not still be here and I have known many sweet souls who didn't have the strength to fight for the care they needed and lost their lives from inadequate care. My heart breaks for those who are truly sick and ignored by doctors or put in a mental institution because of inadequacy. I pray for all the people who are sick and have trouble getting a diagnosis, and all the physicians out there to find the diagnosis and the med students to be trained to look harder to find the root of the problem. 

Am I waiting or am I in a freefall?

The entirety of this blog has been to count down the days until God heals me of an incurable disease, mixed in with tidbits of my life and family, and sometimes a little craziness. This is the 3rd night this week that I haven't been able to sleep at all. When I do sleep it is restles and full of vivid wild dreams. So may changes are happening this year. My sweet, brilliant Noah is getting married this summer and all I want to do is give Krystian the wedding of her dreams! Hope is probably going to a college science or psycology 2 to 3 week course at Tulane this summer. Senior year is right around the corner for her. Elijah is sailing through 3rd grade with flying colors. He loves to tell us how handome and smart and humble he is; that's my stinkerlicious for you!
I am just so ready to feel like myself again before I forget who that is. Either I am so sick I cannot function or I'm havinf crazy siide effects from my medicine that I can't decide if the side effects or the symptoms are worse. I miss laughing, dancing, baking, cooking, playing with my kids; Going on dates with my husband, dates with my kids, or having the best family outings. We can't even travel with the extra load of my TPN and all my meds, not to even mention that money for travel is non existant because it all goes to doctors and bills. I do have to say this, God has always provided for us. We have never had a lack of food, clothing, and essentials. God has been so good to us and I know He will see us through this as well.
Thank you for reading and praying for our family. I pray everyone who reads this is blessed abundantly and all of you needs are met by our Awesome God! I also pray that you will have true joy, true peace, and true love in your life!

Still sick, still believing with the #faithofachild

The IVIG treatments helped with my symptoms. I even had several days that I forgot I was sick, I felt so good. But the test results had no change so insurance is not going to approve any more treatments and I know I can't afford $20,000 a treatment. I do feel like this is just one more step to prove that man cannot do anything proof that my healing will be by God alone.  Until then I will wait. I have to say I am losing my patience. I do see so much more going on while I wait. I am having a blast helping with my sons upcoming wedding. Noah is doing awesome in biomedical engineering and planning his life with his new family. He is a youth pastor and making strides in making a huge difference in this area. It gives me so much hope and anticipation. God has brought back to the forefront of my mind all the ideas and plans He has given me and let me know they are going to be a reality. Expect to see big things God is doing through our family this year. Stick with me on here and I know you will see more than just one miracle!