It's been a while

I have been stuck in a holding pattern while my doctors and insurance decide what to do next. I had a really difficult month last month. No matter what i couldn't control my symptoms. Now I am back on an even keel for me anyway. I am waiting on my neurologist now, because insurance will not cover IVIG because even though I had a better quality of life, there was no change in my gastric emptying test. The next thing they are supposed to try is Solu Medrol but it has been months and still waiting.
     I am going to try to start another blog or maybe even a vlog because I cannot work. We have a senior in high school and I am homeschooling our 4th grader. Between the cost of regular family expenses and my medical expenses I have to figure out a way to make money from home. I cannot do a regular at home job because I never know what my body is going to decide to do, so I have to figure out how to make the internet work for me so please pray that I will find a meaningful way to contribute to our family's living expenses.
     Our house desperately needs repair and Clint is working as fast and hard as he can to repair and remodel, but something new always seems to break or pull attention from what needs to be done. Hope is about to turn 18 and I want to try to make her birthday special. She needs a whole lot this year, from a computer and a vehicle for college to simple things like bedding, towels, and the like.
     God has given Clint an amazing mind for business but without capital he cannot do any of it. He intends to remodel this house all by himself and I love the layout and all the little features he wants to do but at the end of the day there is just not enough time or money for him to build our sanctuary. He gives every ounce of himself to a job that should be paying him more because he goes above and beyond in every aspect of his life, but he needs desperately to have time and peace to recharge because I have to deal with being sick all the time, but he has to deal with me being sick, knowing there is nothing he can do for me and that he is going to have to deal with the ramification on the house and the family.
     I really need to be able to contribute, even if it is in some small way to get our family and our remodel back on track. i have been so sick for so long, I don't even remember what it means to feel good. It can get really discouraging for all of us, I truly believe god is going to heal me in His time, I just wish it was sooner rather than later. I will try to keep my blog updated as I am starting a prayer and a spiritual journal. Who knows, maybe I will even be able to get my book published.
     Back to the mountian of laundry and dishes, paperwork and phone calls that won't get done today.
Because I am going downhill fast and when I finally break down and take my medicine I will be no good to anyone.

Gastroparesis sucks

There is nothing good about gastroparesis. And when you are a foodie like me it really sucks. I love to eat but now if I eat I throw up for hours. That's not the only thing though. I love to cook and bake and come up with new recipes, I even have my own line of cookies. I love planning big events and not only making food that looks decadent but tastes even better. I miss hanging out with my family. I miss living my life while the years go by so fast. Elijah will be 10 in January and he still has complete faith God will heal me and so do I. I know its in His hands but I really hope it's sooner rather than later

My amazing children!

I am still here, still sick, still on total IV nutrition, and still being blessed! My Noah is planning for his upcoming wedding, he is also in biomedical engineering at Tech, works as a full time youth director, and has given several Sunday night sermons. His fiancee Krystian has been such a blessing in all of our lives. Hope, as a Junior in high school is on track to be Valedictorian, head of the FCS, Editor in Chief of their Journalism department, constantly comes up with new ways to introduce people to Christ. Just  like we prayed before she was born, she is so full of life, she cant bottle it up! Elijah is still being homeschooled, but he has this innate wisdom that no one can understand. The things he knows, things no one has taught him constantly blows our minds. Not only are our children brilliant, ,giving, loving, and beautiful from the inside out; they are also all so very funny. Laughter constantly fills our home. Clint is so funny that his boss wants to set up an evening for him to do stand up comedy.
God has truly blessed us! I know by His stripes I am healed, my body just hasn't caught on yet. I know He is blessing our family in everything we put our hands to. I also know He can bless you abundantly and I am praying that He will.

Still carrying the #faithofachild

I have always known, since before I understood the extent of my illness, that God would use me, that He would heal me in a way that could only be a miracle, and He would use me to be a voice for those who are sick and frustrated by no or wrong diagnoses or diagnoses with no hope. Here is an interesting fact, I once learned at a Proverbs 31 day that since there are 31 verses in Proverbs 31 that you can go to the verse of the day of your birth and that verse would have a strong significance in your life. Noah was a baby at the time and I did not understand why Proverbs 31:8 would have anything to do with me.
  

Proverbs 31:8New King James Version (NKJV)

8 Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.

You can see now the significance because I feel with all my heart that this is what God called me to do, years before I knew true illness, years before I knew the struggle of fighting for my life would include fighting tooth and nail for the care I needed. Before I knew there are countless people dying because they just don't know how to get the care they need. I have met many amazing people who lost their lives to the battle I face and through the years God has sustained me, not because I deserve any more than any other one person but because He has a purpose for me. Little did I know when I was selling my own cookie line, Heaven's To Betsy's Gourmet Cookies that the verse I put on every cookie or tub of cookie dough I sold would have such significance for my personal walk.

Matthew 4:4New King James Version (NKJV)

4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”

For so long before I was able to get IV nutrition, I could not hold down any food or drink and God sustained me. Now that I am on IV nutrition God is still sustaining me. Little did I know when I chose that verse that I would not live by bread of any kind, food or drink, and He still is with me, always! He is this for you too, anyone who needs Him, call out to Him and He will guide you, heal you, sustain you, bless you, save you!