My Reason

My sweet Elijah has used every wish, every prayer, every day to ask for my complete healing. I knew in 2008 because God told me when I first started getting really sick that things were going to get much worse but He would heal me only when His timing is right and He receives the glory for my healing. For those of you that do not know, I have Idiopathic Gastroparesis caused by a genetic condition known as Autonomic Dysfunction. I am currently on IV nutrition through a central line and on several medications. I had a gastric pacer implanted in 2010 to alleviate some of my symptoms and it worked well for 6 months but my nerves quit responding and I finally had it removed this January. In other words it did get much worse. I start this blog now because I know God will not let my baby's faith die.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Day 197

I cannot wait until my days at the top of my post start over with 1 , the first day after my healing. Until then I have been brainstorming about how to set up my prayer session and first fundraiser. I cannot do it on my own and if I cannot get the help I need we will just have to have a prayer session. When people always tell me they are praying for me they tend to say that is the least they can do and I always respond that, no, it is the most they can do! 
Just a little vent, I still hold down very little food and what I do hold down I pay for in spades. My TPN put a lot of extra weight on me and because my body is all out of whack, I cannot lose a single ounce. When my stomach bloats people think I am pregnant and I don't know why I let that bother me so much. The fact that I am so fat and didn't even get to enjoy what caused the weight gain, or the fact that if I were to get pregnant in the condition I am in now it would likely kill me and most likely the baby. It is foreign territory for me to see the idea of a new life as a death sentence for me. Aside from the fact that I have a grown man as a son. 
Enough venting, but at the moment I am very tired and ill so until next time...
Lots of Love
And Laughter, 
Betsy
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